Ick.

This baby is going to be a handful. He or she is going to give me a hard time and grey hairs.

Every morning I feel sick. Thankfully, I haven't gotten sick yet, but it is the constant state of wanting to be.

All I want to do is sleep. I remember being tired, but this time around I don't want to get out of bed. I want to sleep for weeks. My bed is the most comfortable place in the world.

The other day I started to get dizzy. I didn't think a lot of it, just figured I was standing up too fast. I got to work and it got worse. My computer screen wouldn't stop moving. My boss and co worker ended up calling a paramedic in to take my blood pressure (which was pretty high) so I called Curt's dad to come get me since Curt was at work. Everything turned out to be fine, just trying to take it easy.

It will be nice when Curt is home more, it sounds like they only have a few more fields to go, so if the weather stays decent they could be done next week!

Off to try and fold some laundry!!

I don't get it.

Curt is in the field today.

The boys and I are at home.

I don't understand why this is so hard for me.

My day.

I'm grateful for my kids. I don't know where I'd be without them.

Today I turn 23. It is just another day. Except when I woke up this morning there were already tears in my eyes. They've come frequently today.

Call it hormones. Call it spending my day alone. Curt is at work. Hunter is at school. And Ian is sitting on the floor next to me barking. He is a puppy today.

For some reason, today was especially hard dropping Hunter off at school today. I didn't want him to go. He was so cute, he stood in front of the school as I drove around the little parking lot loop to leave, I look over and there he is, waving and blowing kisses. He doesn't care if his friends see him. He doesn't care if ANYONE sees him.

Ian, my puppy, is staying close to me today. Kisses on my cheek, kisses to the baby, calling me pretty princess and sharing his ambulances.

I'm not alone, I have my precious boys by my side. At lunch, we will head up to see Curt at the station.

Because it is my birthday and I can do what I want.

Not ready

Curt talked to the farmer he works for today... They are starting corn this week.

I'm not ready.

He works every 3rd day at the station, so his two days off in between will be filled with him being out in the field. Minus doctor appointment days for the baby.

I'm not ready.

I have been trying to prepare myself for MONTHS... I knew it was coming, the rain kept pushing it back, but the inevitable is happening.

I'm not ready to not see him.

And it begins...

And the pregnancy brain begins.

I have a REALLY hard time remembering pretty much ANYTHING while I am pregnant.

I warned Curt. I really did. Tiffany warned Curt. I think he thought we were joking.

The first thing to find a new home? The peanut butter. I was heading to the bathroom when I hear "And WHY is the peanut butter in the fridge!?"

Oops.

At least I put it away!

It will work... Right?

I'm about 5-6 weeks pregnant. With child number (gulp!) three. As I lay on the couch, resigned to the fact that I don't feel good (a cold, flu or something non pregnancy related) and watch my 2 year old eat Teddy Grahams while trying to keep the puppy at bay, I wonder "How the heck is this going to work?" I'm tired chasing after just 2 kids... Don't get me wrong, we are so excited to be pregnant... But 3 kids in 5 years. I need a nap. And I'm only 22. Well, 23 in less than a week but thats creeping a little too close to 25 for me. I should have more energy than this! Where is it going??

OH YEAH.

The baby. I'm convinced it is a girl already. Mainly due to the fact that she is stealing all my energy and brain cells JUST to get attention.

What if it is a girl?

What do I do with her?

I have two boys. I haven't been around little girls much.

I'd love a girl. The boys want a baby sister. I think Curt would love a daughter... She would have him wrapped around her finger in no time. Like, the second the ultrasound tech says "It's a girl!"

Either way, I will be happy.

But it WOULD be nice to have another girl in this house!!

A 5 year old, a 3 year old and a newborn. It will work.

I'm think I'm going to go take that nap now.