its been so long!

Between everyone being sick, getting everything ready for garage sale & party planning... Holy Hectic Batman!

We have all been sick with something in the last 3 weeks... Curt had some sort of eye issue, no contacts & had to use steroid drops for a week, I had strep, Hunters is on his second ear infection, Ian is on ear infection #2 with a bronchial thing going on & Emily got slammed with an 'unknown bug' - poor kid couldn't keep anything down or in, wouldn't drink anything & got to the point she couldn't hardly get up... She's finally doing better - getting into trouble as I type!

We're getting ready for our 1st annual 'Holy Sh!t its Spring' party tomorrow... Go figure, Mother Nature wants to play dirty - snow forecasted. Doesn't matter... Grilling out & having some fun regardless!

Its been eerily quiet on the fire front, have 4 house fires in 3 weeks, I expected another burst of activity... Maybe its coming? The overtime is nice... I just wish I could stick him in the station and not let him go play!

Oh well... Off to tackle laundry mountain!

Rest In Peace Boyd

Boyd was a fire fighter at our department...

He will be missed greatly by every single person that knew him...




'It was an honor to know him' - TimesRepublican.com | News, Sports, Jobs, Community info - Times Republican

The unnamed post

My brain feels like a constant Facebook status feed today.

...is tired
...is aggravated
...can't stop thinking
...wishes Emily would go to sleep
...wants to just SCREAM what I'm really thinking
...would give anything to have my husband home right now, but at the same time, I just want to be alone.

Between bronchitis, double pink eye, double ear infection and working on getting her first tooth... Emily doesn't seem to want to sleep through the night anymore. I went to Kansas with my oldest sister last week for a couple days, Curt had the kids, and she slept through the night for the first time in months. Then my in laws had her over night Saturday... And she did it again. Nothing I do seems to work. I'm back to the 'newborn fog' which could be directly related to my current hay-wire brain activity.

I'm struggling with some personal issues these days. I've tried to resolve these issues... I just can't seem to. The one thing that is helping? Church. Never would have thought after 24 years of not going to church, I'd become a regular.

I'm learning. I'm struggling. I'm searching.

On a fire-related note... 3 house fires in 4 weeks... No injuries, no loss of life... just lots of fire. There was even a car fire thrown in there (acoss the street and behind-ish our house so we even saw some action. A building blocked the actual fire from our view though. Poo.) Although the OT has been great for beefing up the paycheck & there have been some awesome action shots in the paper... After not having to deal with a house fire during our relationship, we've got pounded by 3... One was the day before Christmas.... And then two within a week. It is giving me practice for being a fire wife and my patience issue..... :)

Okay... The little one is asleep so I'm going to go to sleep while it lasts... I'll try to empty my brain tomorrow :)


Good night world

Love them

Emily laughing at Daddy, Ian being a goofball and hiding from the camera and Hunter all dressed up for his first school concert... They make my heart melt

A new year, A fresh start

This year is going to be a cleansing year.

I've started with my house... Clothes, toys & shoes are being gone through and sorted. 7 bags are packed and ready to donate and I've still got more clothes to go through! I'm kind of excited about this purging of stuff.

I'm also cleansing my personal life. Working and focusing on issues I have... The person from my last post... Being better when Curt is at the FD... Being okay when he is at the boat shop... Eliminating the drama from my life. Also so excited about this part of it all!

I'll elaborate more later... Little miss munchkin is sleeping on my lap and it is hard to type :)

*sigh*

There is a person in my life that wont go away. No matter what I do, they will not disappear. This person has more than one previous link to us... This person is not required to be in our lives by any sort of law. Or desire on my part. I've wished that this person would just up and move to a foreign country. It fits. This person doesn't take hints. This person is poison to my soul. To my heart. To my relatonship and overall life. Other people don't seem to understand this. I wish I could say everything on here. I need to. I want to. But I can't. I'm trapped in my own thoughts and I feel like I'm drowning.

On another depressing note.

I thought not seeing Drake's footprints in the snow would help. Make me feel better. Then the temperatures rose this week. Up into th 40s. And the snow melted. And now his footprints are gone forever. It is heartbreaking.

Drake

I miss you Drakey.

Thank you for being so good to my kiddos. And me.

You were so sick when I met you. I'm glad we got to spend 2 years together.

I hope you feel better.

I hope you weren't scared.

Daddy misses you so much. He hurts so much.

So do I.

Buddy is sad. He laid in his kennel last night and didn't whine or bark at all.

We both know Buddy being quiet never happens.

I'd give anything to hear you barking at the people walking by.

I miss you so much sweetie.



Love, Momma