Got this from one of our deputies... I love it!!
A sign some of us have been dispatching too long:
-You answer your home phone "9-1-1, what is your emergency?"
-You spend more on fast food than utilities.
-You see nothing wrong with eating a Taco Bell Grande Meal or pizza at 3 a.m.
-Adult emergency personnel, not related to you, refer to you as mother/father.
-You consider coffee an indispensable work tool.
-You answer your home phone "dispatch".
-You answer dispatch phone "hell" instead of "hello".
-The only thing that gets your adrenaline going is the walk to and from your car.
-You find humor in other people's misery.
-You're only happy if you have something to complain about.
-You consider patience a weakness, not a virtue.
-Your idea of a good night involves someone getting shot, chased or dismembered.
-You have forgotten what it is like to actually eat a warm meal.
-You think it's funny when a would-be suicide gets bored waiting for the gas from the stove to do it's thing and lights a cigarette to pass the time resulting in an explosion that leaves her neighbors homeless but she still survives.
-You truly believe stupidity should be painful.
-If an officer screams over the radio that a nuclear bomb has just detonated, you'd just ask the "20" of the mushroom cloud and assign it an eight digit case number.
-Dinner consist of a 2 liter bottle of soda and whatever you can scrounge out of the vending machine.
-Antacid tablets, or better known as dispatcher candy, become your regular dessert.
-You read newspaper accounts of a major incident that occurred during your shift and can point out all the incorrect information...and then laugh about it.
-Family members comment about how nice you "used" to be before you started this job.
-You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac and/or birth control over certain parts of your city.
-You have no idea what a holiday is, other than it's the day when everyone gets drunk and beats up their family members.
-You can carry on more than 4 conversations simultaneously.
-You have the bladder capacity of a tanker truck or of a small third world army.
-You can resume a conversation with coworkers 4 hours later, in mid-sentence and everyone knows what you are talking about.
-You have a long term telephonic relationship with one or more paranoid schizophrenic PTSD suffering relatives of a public official.
-You get impatient listening to people relate a story - You want "just the facts".
-You believe 90% of people can't look up a telephone number.
-You get easily bored with happy, content people.
-You have perfected the phrase "I pay taxes, too".
-You have perfected some witty response to the comment, "I pay your salary!"
-You can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and type request into the computer at the same time without missing anything.
-You think it is funny when a "regular client" kills himself while breaking into a business.
-You can give directions to any location in your city off the top of your head.
-You can relate a 10 minute story over a 2 hour time period, after many interruptions, without losing your place.
-You refuse to allow anyone to say "have a quiet shift".
-You believe that the statement, "It sure is quiet!" will bring down the wrath of god upon you.
-Your friends and neighbors call for legal advice.
-You can give anyone the exact address of every bar in your jurisdiction.
-You question the motives of anyone who makes an effort to get to know you after they learn your profession.
-You know the phone number of every restaurant or business that delivers food, specially late at night.
-You spell everything phonetically.
-You can only tell time on a 24 hour clock.
-You acknowledge your friends and families remarks with the time.
-You have spent time explaning to officers, firefighters or EMTs the difference between a dispatcher and a personal assistant.
-You live in fear of a full moon.
-You are on a first name basis with every crazy lunatic in your jurisdiction.
-You find no comfort in knowing that the equipment that you depend on to do your job and protect others was purchased at the lowest bid possible.
-You respond faster to the name "RADIO" or "CENTRAL" than you do to your own name.
-You find yourself talking to family and friends in codes.
-You have a tendency to giggle at your friends "big" problems.
-You respond 10-4 when told to please pull around to the first window at a fast food restaurant.
-You tell cops where to go without fear.
