*sigh*

There is a person in my life that wont go away. No matter what I do, they will not disappear. This person has more than one previous link to us... This person is not required to be in our lives by any sort of law. Or desire on my part. I've wished that this person would just up and move to a foreign country. It fits. This person doesn't take hints. This person is poison to my soul. To my heart. To my relatonship and overall life. Other people don't seem to understand this. I wish I could say everything on here. I need to. I want to. But I can't. I'm trapped in my own thoughts and I feel like I'm drowning.

On another depressing note.

I thought not seeing Drake's footprints in the snow would help. Make me feel better. Then the temperatures rose this week. Up into th 40s. And the snow melted. And now his footprints are gone forever. It is heartbreaking.

Drake

I miss you Drakey.

Thank you for being so good to my kiddos. And me.

You were so sick when I met you. I'm glad we got to spend 2 years together.

I hope you feel better.

I hope you weren't scared.

Daddy misses you so much. He hurts so much.

So do I.

Buddy is sad. He laid in his kennel last night and didn't whine or bark at all.

We both know Buddy being quiet never happens.

I'd give anything to hear you barking at the people walking by.

I miss you so much sweetie.



Love, Momma

Happy

After 10 hours on scene the firefighter was finally able to come home... At 3:30am. They had him on fire watch and he was supposed to stay until 7 but they released him early (Thankful for that, I was going to go crazy!)

I did get to go up and see him for a little while, it made it just a little bit easier.


Today we had Christmas with Curts family then mine tonight... Tomorrow the boys go to their dad's house and we get to start going through and un-packaging everything.

Too much fun today :)

Waiting

Curt got called in for a house fire

He has been on scene for about an hour and a half now

I'm not good at this

Luckily his parents, brother and brother's fiance are here

We were supposed to be putting bunk beds together... Chris and Dale are doing it

I'm so glad they are here

It is taking everything I've got not to turn on the scanner

I don't have a good title for this post. So I deem it "Updates"

Emily found out she can scream. Or screech. Whatever it is, it makes your ears bleed. This kid has some lungs.

I can't believe she is only a few days shy of being 6 months old... My little baby is growing too fast!

I'm so excited that Curt gets to be home Christmas day this year! He worked it last year, and when his crew changed this year he is scheduled to work it again. But, by the grace of God and some awesome crew members, they decided he should be the one to take the day off since he has a new family.

I don't think those guys realize how big that is for me.

Last year, Christmas wasn't the greatest. Curt worked at the fire department. The boys spent Christmas day and the week after with their dad... It was the first time in 3 months they hadn't been with me and the first Christmas I didn't get to spend with Hunter and Ian. The weather was crappy so I couldn't go to Curt's parents or my family's house. I had a hard time driving across town to the station. I spent Christmas 4 months pregnant and all alone.

NOT THIS YEAR!!!

I'm so excited!



Everything else is going okay...

Emily is getting over bronchitis so we don't sleep much... I'm averaging 4 hours of sleep (I'm crabby lately).

The boys are doing great... I'm so happy I can be home with them. They have been trying to test limits lately and see how far they can push me now that I'm here. It is an adjustment.

Curt came home the other day thinking he had pink eye... Turns out he has ulcers again. One wasn't too bad, it healed in a couple days. The other one is on the edge of his cornea and bigger so its taking longer to heal. It has been a struggle. He hates wearing his glasses. (But he is so dang cute in them!) I had to drive him down to Des Moines so we could get him new glasses that day. I ended up getting new ones too and have been trying to wear them more than my contacts, at least until his eyes get better. Hopefully Lasik will be on the agenda for 2011.

Emily is staring at the computer like she is reading it and will start screaming like I typed something wrong. Love her.

Off to try to lure her to dreamyland.

And we are up...

I'm not a morning person. Or a wake up in the middle of the night person.

Curts at work, and sick, and should be home in about an hour. I feel bad for him, I don't feel well either, but I got to sit in my jammies all day and cuddle with our screaming daughter. She has a cold... Horribly icky nose, itchy goopy eyes, a cough that makes me hurt too, can't sleep for more than a few hours at a time and her cry... Miserable & pitiful. I hope she feels better soon.

Curt, however, has been running non stop medicals since this afternoon, hopefully he got a few hours of sleep.

I'd like about 12 hours of straight sleep.

More kiddo pictures

Curts at work... Boys are gone for the week... Emmy isn't feeling... I'd like a nap... Here are some pictures... Again.

So tired

Baby is hitting a growth spurt


Sleep?


So tired.

Some random pictures...