Sunday, April 24, 2011

what is normal anyway?

At church today I couldn't help but notice all the families. It could be because there was about triple the normal people at the service... But families. Everywhere. Husbands & wives with their kids in between, all around... I had family there... I had my kids... I had my parents... I didn't have my husband.

It is times like that when I crave normalcy. Having him at church every week. Home every night to assure me those noises are fine.

I sat there looking at each couple. Wishing my life was normal. And it hit me. Tears started to well up. I looked at each of my kids.

This is our normal.

Our normal is that Daddy is always going to miss every 3rd service.

Daddy won't get to be home every night.

Our normal is rushing out the door on busy nights to try to make it to the station between calls.

Our normal is not normal. But it is ours.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Games, homemade everything & Canada

There is green on the trees!


Warm weather is definitely close. I couldn't be happier!

There is just about a month left of school... I'm so glad we found a school that fits our family so well!

Hunter decided he wanted to play t-ball this year... I never thought I'd be a sappy mom that teared up all the time. Well boy was I wrong. I cried at his concert (he looked so BIG up there on stage!). It shouldn't have surprised me that I had tears welling up when I saw his little glove & the little ball they use. He has his very first practice tonight... He is with his dad this week but I told him I'd come watch & see him (Like I'd be ANYWHERE else!). Curt told me not to be "that mom". Um. Too late. I'm not going to miss a second of this!

Mr. Ian decided he wanted to go to pre-school this year. How is he almost 4? He won't be at the same school as Hunter, which would have been terribly convenient... But its okay :) He is excited he gets to pick out a book bag & will get to play on the play ground... I'm not ready for this!

Emily turns one in just a few more months! It seems impossible! I've been so blessed to be able to stay at home with her for most of her life! She is getting dangerously close to walking, much to daddy's dismay. She can say a few words & loves blowing kisses at everyone!

Curt is also playing softball for the fire department again... I'm so excited for it to start! This will be the first year I'll get to go to hopefully every game! There will be a few night I'm sure of rushing from Hunter's games & practices to Curt's games... But I love it! Emily and I decided that since she can clap that she needs a cheer leading outfit for the games!

In the quest to save money & cut down on our "carbon footprint" I've started buying less & making more... Not just food... Laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, fabric softner... Its amazing how much you can save, how easy it is & how big of an impact you can make! I got a friend of mine hooked on the laundry detergent... She was the one that introduced me to the dishwasher detergent. I'll go blog crazy about that another day :)

Since my man is crazy about hunting, he's always looking for a better boat, how to re-do his duck blind... All sorts of stuff. He ended up meeting a man from Canada (guy wanted to buy our boat) and they talked for a long time & guy invited my man on a hunting trip this fall up in Canada. My man's dream. He is so excited! I'm excited for him! I'll go someday... Just not this year! I love Canada & have always wanted to go back.

Oo. Hear that? That's the beautiful sound of a sick baby sleeping. Finally! Time to get lunch before she wakes up!

Friday, March 25, 2011

its been so long!

Between everyone being sick, getting everything ready for garage sale & party planning... Holy Hectic Batman!

We have all been sick with something in the last 3 weeks... Curt had some sort of eye issue, no contacts & had to use steroid drops for a week, I had strep, Hunters is on his second ear infection, Ian is on ear infection #2 with a bronchial thing going on & Emily got slammed with an 'unknown bug' - poor kid couldn't keep anything down or in, wouldn't drink anything & got to the point she couldn't hardly get up... She's finally doing better - getting into trouble as I type!

We're getting ready for our 1st annual 'Holy Sh!t its Spring' party tomorrow... Go figure, Mother Nature wants to play dirty - snow forecasted. Doesn't matter... Grilling out & having some fun regardless!

Its been eerily quiet on the fire front, have 4 house fires in 3 weeks, I expected another burst of activity... Maybe its coming? The overtime is nice... I just wish I could stick him in the station and not let him go play!

Oh well... Off to tackle laundry mountain!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Monday, January 24, 2011

The unnamed post

My brain feels like a constant Facebook status feed today. tired aggravated
...can't stop thinking
...wishes Emily would go to sleep
...wants to just SCREAM what I'm really thinking
...would give anything to have my husband home right now, but at the same time, I just want to be alone.

Between bronchitis, double pink eye, double ear infection and working on getting her first tooth... Emily doesn't seem to want to sleep through the night anymore. I went to Kansas with my oldest sister last week for a couple days, Curt had the kids, and she slept through the night for the first time in months. Then my in laws had her over night Saturday... And she did it again. Nothing I do seems to work. I'm back to the 'newborn fog' which could be directly related to my current hay-wire brain activity.

I'm struggling with some personal issues these days. I've tried to resolve these issues... I just can't seem to. The one thing that is helping? Church. Never would have thought after 24 years of not going to church, I'd become a regular.

I'm learning. I'm struggling. I'm searching.

On a fire-related note... 3 house fires in 4 weeks... No injuries, no loss of life... just lots of fire. There was even a car fire thrown in there (acoss the street and behind-ish our house so we even saw some action. A building blocked the actual fire from our view though. Poo.) Although the OT has been great for beefing up the paycheck & there have been some awesome action shots in the paper... After not having to deal with a house fire during our relationship, we've got pounded by 3... One was the day before Christmas.... And then two within a week. It is giving me practice for being a fire wife and my patience issue..... :)

Okay... The little one is asleep so I'm going to go to sleep while it lasts... I'll try to empty my brain tomorrow :)

Good night world

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Love them

Emily laughing at Daddy, Ian being a goofball and hiding from the camera and Hunter all dressed up for his first school concert... They make my heart melt

Monday, January 3, 2011

A new year, A fresh start

This year is going to be a cleansing year.

I've started with my house... Clothes, toys & shoes are being gone through and sorted. 7 bags are packed and ready to donate and I've still got more clothes to go through! I'm kind of excited about this purging of stuff.

I'm also cleansing my personal life. Working and focusing on issues I have... The person from my last post... Being better when Curt is at the FD... Being okay when he is at the boat shop... Eliminating the drama from my life. Also so excited about this part of it all!

I'll elaborate more later... Little miss munchkin is sleeping on my lap and it is hard to type :)